I will probably buy him a semi-funny birthday card and a small gift to show I care, even if he doesn't. The OW, while not pretty is educated and, on the surface seems like a charming likable person. However, she spends a lot of time at her counsellors dealing with mental health and low self-esteem issues. Her husband is a successful and rich man and she will never leave him on her own, as her standard of living would drop dramatically. She has two kids. It just seems that she saw someone better looking and more charming than her H and went for it. Anything I have found around here from her is full of things like "you complete me", "you are my soulmate", "i was not alive before you" etc. As for the stuff I've found, he leaves it around in his office, almost like he wants me to find it. H does not seem to feel guilty or sorry about this affair. When I caught him in his lie about working the weekend and instead taking off with her, he never apologized, but instead acted all depressed for 3 days, sad he said for "disappointing me". I have found some of the sex toys, oils,catalogues etc and most have gift tags from her that say things like "all my love" etc. I think the impotence thing is a complete lie, and he will not go to a doctor about it as I have asked him. Yes we had problems in the bedroom and I take full responsibility for my part, but he has not been with me since he took up with her, possibly his way of being "faithful" to her. He is not home much because he drives for a living and he takes her with him often. Although I don't know what she tells her H about these overnight trips, or what she does with her kids. He seems addicted to her and I don't know how to break this addiction and turn him back to me. I am putting into practice some things I have read in DB'ing book and we will see how it goes. So far he has shown no signs of leaving me nor has he even mentioned divorce, so I am still hopeful.
