Still plugging along. Trying to keep the lines of communication open.
I made the mistake of talking to him today about his dad and his upbringing. let's just say, we have different opinions of the disfunction in his family growing up. I regretted talking about it, but before I knew it... it was too late.
Anyway, still plugging along.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
PS - remember 'SIlent Sons' and other books on dysfunctional families - it is a charactersitic of many people from dysfunctional families that they 'normalise' their experience. My h's younger sister who has dealt with many of her issues said their family life was a 'horror show' whereas my h says 'it was no worse than anyone else's life', even though he KNOWS what my upbringing was like. In fact he once shocked a friend rigid when we were listening to a funny play about a dysfucntional family, and my h said very quietly - 'it wasn't funny to me - it was too close to reality'.
Now he is in total denial about his appalling upbringing . .
Hey gang, Just checking in. I have recently started posting on Piecing. I had tried it once before, then thought it was too premature.
So, that's why I haven't been posting much on my thread here.
It's crazy, I had this perception that the people who post in piecing have put their Ms back together and everything is wonderful again. So, i was scared to post there, because my M is by no means "wonderful". But that's now how it is. It's a bunch of people who are working every day on piecing their M's back together -- some days good, some bad. One thing I learned over there is that when you start piecing your M back together, it never ends. You spend the rest of your life piecing. And that's not a bad thing, but more of a testament to how important it is to work very, very hard at your M each and every day -- some days fighting the urge to throw in the towel altogether.
Anyway, a lot of what I've been reading on the piecing boards has opened my eyes up even more to this journey that we are all on. And that no matter waht stage we're in, it's just another stage in the process... another point in teh journey. The journey never ends. We are all on our own journey.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
Just checking in. Things with H have been moving along nicely. We've had a few roadblocks that we managed to work through together. H seems much happier. He is pretty much always in a good mood these days. He seems happy to be home with his family. He's affectionate. Just last week, he sent me a TM from Florida thad said, "I love you!"
I have a better handle on the triggers that start us down a bad path. We've come close to moving backwards a few times, but managed to work through it. I pray thta we can continue the positive progress we've been making.
I still think about OW sometimes. I still worry about him contacting her. I don't know if that will ever go away. I don't think he is... at least that's what my gut is telling me. I don't think about her nearly as much as I used to. I try not to let her get in the way of our M.
We are now facing having to put our dog to sleep any day now. That has me quite upset, but it's part of life. That's what I keep telling myself.
So, that's my update... still facing challenges, still working hard on the R... still making progress - one step at a time.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
PS, so glad to hear that things are going along smoothly...the road to a restored marriage is long and hard ! You are doing wonderfully ! Thank you for coming here to share your hope and story with us !
I'm SO SORRY about your dog....our dog had a serious accident this weekend too and I'm not sure if she'll ever be able to walk properly again....I'm waiting for the swelling to go down...and praying that she will be ok...I'm right there with you with my prayers for your doggie and mine ! xxxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I am so happy that things are going well with you and your h. As far as the ow, it does take time to get her outta there. I am feeling so much more comfortable with my h. He is proving himself to me daily! It sounds like you have a handle on things.
I am sorry about your doggie too. They all are so much a part of the family. They are so loyal! Hang in there!
