Growing up is hard to do

[peaceful_spirit]

Hope,
I suppose you're right about the phone. It is a good sign.

Casey, my dog is doing a little bit better. I know she's dying, but she's perked up over the past week or so. So, for now, I'm not making any decisions.

Had an "incident" with H today. He called me to tell me he was going out to dinner with work people. i asked him a few questions so that I could feel comfortable that that's where he was really going. Anyway, after a few minutes, we ended the conversatino and said we'd talk later.

It was bothering me. i counldn't stop wondering if he was going to see OW. So, I called him. Here's how it went:

me: I'm feeling uneasy
H: Why
me: You're not seeing OW tonight, are you?
H: What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you say that?
me: I've been burned so many times, that when you say that you're going to a dinner, it just crosses my mind. And I would hate to see that happen after all the progress we've made.
H: Well, I'm not.
me: I just wanted to tell you this is what I was thinking rather than me asking you a ton of questions and you thinking I was grilling you.
H: That is what I thought.
me: SO, what do we do about this.
H: I don't know.
me: Okay.

We hung up. A few minutes later, he sent me the email from his boss about teh dinner. I replied, "thank you".

So, tonight I called him on my way home from work:

me: I know you're not feeling good about what happened this morning.
H: No, it's fine.
me: I know you don't like it when I am suspicious. I just want you to try to see things from my point of view. And while you haven't given me any reason not to trust you lately, I still have these thoughts. I am working on trusting you, but it's not going to happen overnight and you need to be patient with me.
H: That's fine. I understand.

Then we changed the subject.

I'm feeling icky about the whole thing.