Rollar Coasters are no longer fun

[BryanS]

I couldn't disagree more. Hospital is one thing, mental hospital is another thing, especially after the umpeenth suicide threat/attempt. H has shown is is incapable of functioning like an adult, at least right now. Therefore, I don't think the normal ideas of what is positive apply because those ideas assume there are two somewhat reasonable adults involved.

It's a catch 22, sure. He'll call you controlling if you go and call you uncaring if you don't. I suggest telling him the next time you talk to him that you really do want to see him but that you don't trust him yet. He's said and done a lot of things to hurt you in the very recent past and you just haven't sorted them all out yet. Therefore, while you continue to support and care about him, you're just not ready to see him yet because not enough time has passed since he last hurt you for you to trust that he won't do it during your visit.

Besides, what's the upside if you do see him? Best case, he tells you how much he loves you and misses the family and that he's leaving the OW. Would you buy that or would you feel like sure I've heard that before? Worst case, he curses you and you leave crying. Either way, I'm betting you walk out of there feeling worse than when you went in. Not what you need to keep your PMA going, IMO.