You were are all right on the money here with my H just trying to control the situation. He was playing hardball over the weekend pushing for a formal separation agreement etc. Tonight was the night we were supposed to start the process of divvying our things up and now wants to talk about “US”.
Yeah, it looked a bit transparent to me the whole time, and caused me to be pretty suspect about his motivations/intentions. It just didn't make sense. Can you elaborate on what he said about talking about the two of you? Did he say something that led you to believe he wants to still work things out?
Pending your reply to my above questions, I would stay very cautious with regard to giving in to him easily. I would "act as if" and let him initiate any discussion having to do with working things out. If he does, I would hold your ground, stress your concerns, doubts, etc, to him about meeting one another's needs and having a better and healthy R together. If he really puts himself out there sincerely and admits that he has things he needs to work on, then I think this opens you up to a deeper R talk about what YOU need, and that you need to see H make a concerted effort to meet these needs over an extended period of time before you can begin to believe that his changes are genuine and that the R can be salvaged and a new slate cleaned for a better M. I'm kind of rambling here, but that's my opinion. I wouldn't be cold or distant, but I wouldn't be warm, fuzzy, and accomodating either. Somewhere in the middle (friendly, I guess) would be my suggestion. Just go with the flow, and be cautious about your responses. Feel him out well first.
