After being away for a while, I took some time to again dive deep into your situation (it took a while!). Regardless, I have a couple of observations I would like to share.
First, you have absolutely no idea what he's going to say on Saturday. It could be reconciliation talk. It could be another bomb. Regardless, I think that there is one thing you said, but you have forgotten:
Originally Posted By: morgan
... he's got an ego on him...but deep inside is insecure, so a weird combination.
Honey, he's as scared as you are, probably more so. He's got the he-man, I-got-two-women-who-want-sex-from-me, chest-thumpin' thing down. But scratch past this thin layer, underneath is frightened and insecure man. If he was so damned confident, he would have done whatever he needs to do by now. You know that. He does not know what to do. He has painted himself into a corner, and he believes that the only pathway out is through the courthouse.
So let's use his insecurity to your advantage. You are in control. You know what you want (a happy marriage and a faithful husband.....right?). You are a valuable and important part of his life right now. However, you presently see yourself as being a passive part of what is going on, and this is not the case. Take control of your own life. Damn it, your happiness does not depend on this man!!
You need to be strong. Maybe he will wake up, maybe he won't. But at the end of the day, you need to be able to tell yourself that you presented him the best possible Morgan that you could. You gave it your best shot, and being frightened, worried, and stressed is not the way to accomplish this.
On Saturday, he needs to see the "best" Morgan. Let him walk away from you when you are at your best. Make it painful for him. Be strong and confident.
At the end of the day, you will be happy. I know this because I know that you are capable of finding happiness whether or not he is in your life.
