CVA - Not sure I have figured anything out?

[Not Much Left]

i've tried, I just dont have the "good ole boy, east texas talk about fishin and what my bowels are doing" for 3 days straight!

Her mom is about as closed off as she is....ding, ding, ding ....they warned her about marrying me, i should have been able to see the shut down W as a function of shut down MIL.

My bad, I know. At least I have fashion, cars, knowledge of fake boobs & botox and other really shallow things to keep me grounded
C

[NoDirection]

I know how that goes. I married a girl whose mother walked out as soon as things got tough. I made a few mistakes and made things tough on both of us and she wants to be out doing her own thing.

I do not have the knowledge of cars & botox. I am up to speed opn everything else though. I guess I am not as grounded...

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

i've tried, I just dont have the "good ole boy, east texas talk about fishin and what my bowels are doing" for 3 days straight!

So, CVA, do a little research (about fish, not bowels). I bet if you throw out an educated question or two about fishing, FIL will be off and running, and you score huge points.

Not worth the effort? If you want it, do it.

Take care.

[Not Much Left]

Hey Puddle
Saw your stuff, glad you had a good time, did you get a cold? You mentioned you thought you might be getting sick.

Problem with all this right now in terms of me doing homework on fishing is I already know enough to have a conversation, I fished as a kid, but "know it alls" are hard to talk to, period. I think it is just too late to connect. The more I think about it, the more I see where my W gets her mindset from. Her mom is shut down and her dad just talks at you and doesnt hear a word anyone says, bad coctail.

I am no saint or great listener, I am selfish and canniving in my own way, I just know that when people talk to me, I do listen and at least validate by knodding my head or mmmhhh, whatever, I dont even get that!

((((Puddle)))), here I go again. How much for this session?

What would be the Dr.'s recommendation on this weekend. Hang around w/ Inlaws and W and try to "connect", fake it and see what happens by making a good impression or just bow out gracefully?

Nomo?
Sunny?
H?
WAW?
Anyone got a viewpt?

BTW, on the anniversary, I did nothing and neither did she, I think she even asked me what the date was that day! Unfreakinbelievable.

C

[Gone Dancin']

I say try to connect, esp if W's complaint in the past was that you didn't do this. It would be a 180, no? It is one more thing that brings you closer to the "try everything" mantra DR chants. One more tunnel that is worth searching for cheese down. Just my opinion.

Others?

GD

[Heimlich]

i've tried, I just dont have the "good ole boy, east texas talk about fishin and what my bowels are doing" for 3 days straight!

Oh, BS. We're both from roughly the same neck of the woods. If you haven't absorbed some outdoor knowledge, you've had your head up your buttocks your entire life. (I've done my share of huntin' and fishin'. Decided that you have to get up too early to do the killin' and the catchin') You've identified a few cheeseless tunnels you've been going down; all in the last few minutes. Time to start sniffing for some gorgonzola down some new hallways.

1. Stick around. Help the W out. Make it a weekend. Make the effort to connect.
2. Keep moving forward on the house. I think many of us have been saying for a while now that your W has not had the distance she needs from you (sadly, that will most likely entail curbing the thin PJs and massages -- yeah, dude, I feel for you).
3. You've got to truly accept that you can't control this. Let it unfold at it's own, slow, plodding, snail-like pace. Lord knows that's killing you, but there's not a damn thing any of us can do about that.
4. Enjoy those kids in the big ol' new house of yours. Let your W see what life will be like.

Man, you sound like me a few weeks ago, you know what the right course of action is, but are having a hard time doing it. Do it.

BD

[Not Much Left]

H
Firstly, thanks and yes, I have had my head up my arse for a while!

Second, you may be right, if other people see may as still doing "whatever" that is not moving me toward my goals, then I need to reevaluate / reasses. Generally when u type something and hit "send" or "in this case "submit", regardless of what u thin it may say or sound like, if other people read it and give feedback like u did (again thanks) it need to be taken into consideration. Duly noted.

C

[Puddle]

Hey CVA!

((((Puddle)))), here I go again. How much for this session?

How much you got?

What would be the Dr.'s recommendation on this weekend. Hang around w/ Inlaws and W and try to "connect", fake it and see what happens by making a good impression or just bow out gracefully?

I agree with the others: make the effort. W might appreciate it, and, seriously, what do you have to lose? A few hours being bored is a small price to pay for an experiment you haven't tried yet.

BTW, on the anniversary, I did nothing and neither did she, I think she even asked me what the date was that day! Unfreakinbelievable.

She very well knew what the date was, CVA. I think she was fishing, or trying to remind you. But I may be wrong, and it doesn't really matter anyway, I guess.

Take care.

[waw1978]

I feel for you! In-laws...WAW runs and hides. At least yours don't live 5 minutes away and drop by unexpectedly! If my H wasn't hiding up his mothers skirt maybe we would have had a better chance at succeeding in this M thing. I think the doc forgot to cut to cord or something.

I agreee with the others...give it your best this weekend. Even if listening to FIL is like nails on a chalk board tourture. Maybe W will see your efforts.

Keep moving along slow and steady. either way your next steps with the new fixer house with certainly get some kind of reaction...better than the no reaction at all pattern.

[waw1978]

I feel for you! In-laws...WAW runs and hides. At least yours don't live 5 minutes away and drop by unexpectedly! If my H wasn't hiding up his mothers skirt maybe we would have had a better chance at succeeding in this M thing. I think the doc forgot to cut to cord or something.

I agreee with the others...give it your best this weekend. Even if listening to FIL is like nails on a chalk board tourture. Maybe W will see your efforts.

Keep moving along slow and steady. either way your next steps with the new fixer house with certainly get some kind of reaction...better than the no reaction at all pattern.