Hardly faking it anymore: Puddle's third thread

[Not Much Left]

I'm rubbing off!

[Puddle]

Hey Nomo,

Maybe he is DBing you.

LOL!

"I'm married... I have kids.

This he knows, from before.

It's all pretty recent, so I am not rushing into anything, and I wanted you to know my sitch. I like spending time with you, and would like to spend more with you, but I have no intention of getting into a R or even dating any time soon.

This makes perfect sense. For tonight, just hanging out, no "I like spending time with you..."

But I'm not your lawyer

You're not H's lawyer either, are you?

and this is all anonymous. Can't we all just have some fun around here for crying out loud???

Hey, hey now. Let's just say that I was muuuch more adept at the physical than the emotional side of things. Often. And with more than a couple wonderful guys.

Did you ever see Best in Show? (If not, rent it now.) There's a scene where Eugene Levy, talking about his wife (Catherine O'Hara) says something like, "She was something back then. Had dozens of boyfriends," and O'Hara says, totally deadpan, "Hundreds." Levy says, "Hundreds. I did not know that." Great movie.

And know, I wouldn't introduce them until W and I were D'd.

Makes sense.

Shall I offer your help?

I'd love it.

Done. Watch your email for an appt from H.

What?!?!?!?! Now I'm a stalker?!?!?!?! Just having some fun!

Oh relax. Actually seeing the two of you toe to toe could be fun.

I agree, which is why I'd feel bad if this guy unwittingly gave H particulars, and at the same time set himself up for some weirdness at the place without having any idea what's going on.

What particulars? "Hey, H, I saw Puddle at the hangout. We had beers, and chatted. Sorry you guys are getting D'd."

No, see, we're going someplace else. I'm thinking if he *later* said at the hangout, "Hey, I met Puddle for drinks." And H happened to be there, or someone who would mention it to H. He doesn't know H, wouldn't recognize him if they were sitting next to each other. That's the kind of unwittingly I'm talking about.

And, maybe, "Mind if I kiss her?" Sorry - couldn't resist.

LOL again! Now that'd be a scene. I'm sure H would say, "Nope, go right ahead."

Makes perfect sense. Been there; done that. And for those very same reasons!!

Good. I hope it goes as well as it has for you (but not in the same way...ugh, you know what I mean).

Uh, yeah. You should have seen me around here before I slowed down. And I have really slowed down. First month - 1000 posts!!! :0 Second month - 600. Slowed down more and more since then.

I'm impressed. I know you've slowed down a lot, but I feel like I post all the time, and I'm nowhere near 1,000, even after two months.

We'll be looking forward to the date report tonight!

I'll have to polish my creative writing skills.

Hugs,
Nomo

Right back atcha. Take care.

[Puddle]

I'm rubbing off!

Oh, you know it!

[Not Much Left]

Now this is good stuff!!

By toe-toe if you mean me and Nomo, its no contest, Nomo is a physical/mental giant!

[Heimlich]

Originally Posted By: CVA
I'm rubbing off!


Oh, you know it!

So, any relation to rubbing and "enough fun"?

Enjoy having someone find you attractive tonight, Puddle. Of course, WE all find you attractive every day.

Have some fun.

BD

[S.T. _I Made It!]

weird about COW contacting you. I hope that she is truthful about her connection with H.

it looks like H was extremely pleased about your interaction the other day. Definitely looks like you crying was a really good thing. definitely showed you have the ability to show true feelings with H and he appreciated it.

I believe that I am also a type A. actually I have no idea, but I had to scan thru the comments....ooops. so hope I didn't miss anything crucial!

have a good night

[Heimlich]

Well? Any rubbing/return to your "checkered past"?

I didn't pick up on it earlier, but opening up/crying in front of your H (showing some of that emotional vulnerability) was a good thing.

BD

[Puddle]

Hey ST,

Definitely looks like you crying was a really good thing. definitely showed you have the ability to show true feelings with H and he appreciated it.

I agree, and the nice thing was, it just happened---definitely not anything planned.

I believe that I am also a type A. actually I have no idea, but I had to scan thru the comments....ooops. so hope I didn't miss anything crucial!

Ha! Another type A among us, and a scanner to boot!

Well? Any rubbing/return to your "checkered past"?

Sadly, no. (Sorry, CVA!) It was fine: good conversation, it was nice to be out (though when he was late I had a moment of panic!), but nothing special, really. But gosh, he is cute. And apparently he *had* been kidding about only having an hour. When did I get so serious that I failed to notice that kind of thing? I definitely need to lighten up.

Talked to H a bit about the hangout. He said everyone's been asking about me, told me who all he's told (enough people that it equals, well, everyone), and that he wouldn't feel strange anymore if we were there at the same time. Usually one of us is with the kids so there's no risk of that; last night was different.

And now I'm up early getting ready for the talk with the kid C. Have a good morning, everyone.

Take care.

[SunnySeason]

Morning Puddle,

And apparently he *had* been kidding about only having an hour. When did I get so serious that I failed to notice that kind of thing? I definitely need to lighten up.

Something I've been thinking myself. I had friends over last night for great wine, music & light conversation. Such a different atmosphere than most recent times spent w/H, so maybe if I lightened up it would help also.

On the other hand, when you're not the type to cry/show emotions,(I'm like you in that way), it probably did help create intimacy with your H.

I guess maybe a combination of happy/light, authentic, yet detached?

Hope the talk with the kid C went well.

Sunny

[Puddle]

Hey sunny!

I had friends over last night for great wine, music & light conversation. Such a different atmosphere than most recent times spent w/H, so maybe if I lightened up it would help also.

That sounds like great fun! Good for you. Yeah, let's put lightening up on the goal list for sure.

I guess maybe a combination of happy/light, authentic, yet detached?

That's a tightrope! Happy and light is a bit hard, considering our talks are almost all about the kids right now. Ugh. How about mature, calm, and accepting?

Hope the talk with the kid C went well.

It did go pretty well. We both liked her. On the way there I was telling H the things I wanted to cover with her: the talk, how/when/if to introduce the kids to our romantic interests, etc.

H started making his case for why it's no big deal for the kids to hang out with him and a date as long as he's not showing affection, etc. I disagree pretty strongly but didn't argue, said things like, "Hmm, yes, let's get some ideas from her about that..."

H did say one thing in the car that made me see those antennae again: "So let's say you're interested in this guy, and I'm going to assume it's a guy..." I thought, you know, a lot has changed recently, but I think it's probably safe for you to assume at this point that my sexual orientation remains the same. Dolt.

So the C said essentially, tell the kids a max of 3--4 days before H moves out, say "We have something to tell you" (not "something sad to tell you"), keep it short and sweet, give them reassurances, tell them facts about who'll be where, where papa will be, etc. She said they shouldn't see him moving out, and kids' books about separation should only be read to them after (H had thought some prep before the talk might be good; she said, nope, anxiety-inducing). She said it's fine for some of his things to stay in the house (jackets, shoes, etc).

She also said that since there's some tension in the house and the kids are beginning (ha) to notice, H needs to get his butt in gear and find a place.

A couple days ago our 7-year-old announced he likes his bed (usually the kids and I sleep in my bed; he's slept in his maybe three times), so now papa, little kid, and I can sleep in the big bed again. Ouch.

Re dating: She said basically the kids derive absolutely no benefit from casually hanging out with people we might be interested in, so why do it? ("Time! Time! He doesn't have any time!" I was thinking, but H held his tongue.) She said they pick up on a lot (was absolutely convinced from what we told her that at least the oldest knows something's up), and that could cause some insecurity, questions, etc, that just doesn't need to be.

She said the kids are forming their ideas about what romantic relationships are, and what do we want to model for them? (I was pretty sure we'd lost H there, but he didn't react or say anything about it after.) She said when it's a SO, that's the time to introduce the kids. If it's platonic, fine (hello, COW).

So that was that. On the way home I told H I appreciated that he gave me time to come to terms with this before having to help the kids do the same. He said, "Right back atcha" or something.

H suggested it might be good for the kids, especially post-talk, if we spent an hour with them (the four of us) in the morning before work, then when it's one or the other's night to go out, that the four of us spend an hour or so together before one leaves, and that we go out to lunch or dinner on the weekend together sometimes. I agreed and was pleasantly surprised.

I couldn't help but think, if we'd done that a year ago, we might not be here. Ironic that we're planning all this family time together now.

And I'm a little bit irritated that after telling me he needs all the nights this week because he can't do apartment hunting with the kids around, last night he went for drinks and to a movie with friends.

It's a gorgeous day. H has taken the day off work to look for a place, and I'm taking the kids to my sister's for some outdoor fun.

Take care, all.