My advice for right now would be not to rock the boat on this issue but wait and see if she does indeed file next month. Then you can bring it up then as being one of the things that you would like. I think that seems fair and reasonable since you are still paying for them.
My advice for right now would be not to rock the boat on this issue but wait and see if she does indeed file next month. Then you can bring it up then as being one of the things that you would like. I think that seems fair and reasonable since you are still paying for them. Did she buy your ring or did you?
I wasnt going to ask for them until she filed the papers and they are served. She did buy my ring and that is why I would return mine to her. I did receive a call from her mother last night, she was worried about me and wanted to know how I was doing and if i was okay. Her mother is against the whole divorce and she is really disappointed with my W. She tells me not to give up and maybe things will change. I told her about a marriage seminar that I found that I would like to attend with my W. She said that would be great if we could go but the challenge will be getting my W to actually go. She said that she will try to talk to her into going with me, even as a last request. Today is going good...so far.
Hi Mwel I am glad to hear that today is going good for you. That is always a good sign. I say you have a good plan of asking for them once she serves you with the papers. I think that is fair and reasonable to ask for the rings back then and offer to give her yours. I mean if you are still paying for them then you should get them back.
Well I hope that she will go with you but it may not work and she may end up mad at your mother in law for getting involved. Be careful involving the in laws in your problems since it is their daughter and more than likely in the end they will be on her side not yours. Also probably most of what you say to them will be repeated back to her not in a malice way and they may think they are helping but still be careful as it could undo all the good you have done.
Agree with Lissie. When parents start getting involved it is actually a negative. Also, getting badgered into going to some marriage retreat isn't going to work out that well. If she wanted to save the marriage she would be trying stuff like that. It would be preferable to avoid tipping your hand to your wife's parents or having them intervene on your behalf.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Hi Mwel I am glad to hear that today is going good for you. That is always a good sign. I say you have a good plan of asking for them once she serves you with the papers. I think that is fair and reasonable to ask for the rings back then and offer to give her yours. I mean if you are still paying for them then you should get them back.
Well I hope that she will go with you but it may not work and she may end up mad at your mother in law for getting involved. Be careful involving the in laws in your problems since it is their daughter and more than likely in the end they will be on her side not yours. Also probably most of what you say to them will be repeated back to her not in a malice way and they may think they are helping but still be careful as it could undo all the good you have done.
Originally Posted By: Just_Me
Agree with Lissie. When parents start getting involved it is actually a negative. Also, getting badgered into going to some marriage retreat isn't going to work out that well. If she wanted to save the marriage she would be trying stuff like that. It would be preferable to avoid tipping your hand to your wife's parents or having them intervene on your behalf.
So far another good day. Actually my mother-in-law emails me almost everyday. She tells me that she loves me and that she wishes that there is something that she can do to change all of this. She does not tell my W that we talk, so everything that we talk about is just between us so Im not worried about her telling my W what is going on. She is actually trying to ask my W to go with me as a last chance kind of deal. What makes my in-laws great people is that they do not side with either of us. They want us to make it work but they try not to get in the middle of it. I am going to ask my W if she will attend the seminar with me. On the website it is gives a list of things to do and people to ask if your spouse does not want to attend, so I am going to try some of those. Talked to my W last night for like 10 minutes, she is sick and didn't feel good so that is why it was so short. I told her that if she needed anything dont hesitate to ask me, even if that means for me to drive up there.
Well I was approved for my loan so that I can try to get my W to attend the seminar...now the problem is how should I ask her?? Here is what I have so far, please LMK what you think..
I have been thinking a lot about the divorce and signing the papers. I think that I may have my answer but I'm still working some issues out. There is something that I would like to ask you. Are you able to get a weekend off? Friday through Sunday? The reason is my family chipped and loaned me some money for a seminar that I would like for you and I to attend. I'm not expecting this seminar to change your mind in anyway, I would like for you to go with me. I think that this is what I and maybe we need to do. I have a good feeling that this seminar will help me with my decision on signing the papers. I'm not asking you to committ to saving our marriage because I know your mind is already made. I'm asking you to go, listen and participate and at the end of the 3 days I should have my answer. I know our marriage is worth saving and I know that we can have a great life together but I know that isnt going to happen right now. Our marriage is worth three days to see if there might by any hope. After all we have invested in each other, dont you think it's worth another three days? You said that you would help me with what ever I needed with dealing with the divorce, well this is how I want you to help me.
Here is the thing, the seminars are not in Columbus.
Sounds fine. Good luck with it, but don't hold your breath or get your expectations up. And despite what you wrote, changing her mind is exactly what you hope for and she'll see that.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Sounds fine. Good luck with it, but don't hold your breath or get your expectations up. And despite what you wrote, changing her mind is exactly what you hope for and she'll see that.
Me, I have very little expectations and Im holding my breath. How should I change my message so that it doesnt sound like I intend on changing her mind??
