AchingMan said; ------ "How did you actually get your wife to respond with such vigor or at least willingness to get down and boogie whenever you wanted? I’ve probably missed some of your posts regarding the real process. If my wife came to me and said she was ready to put our sex life on high priority status I’d cry with joy, do a jig and carry her anywhere she wanted to go. Hell, I’d even take up tango lessons and take a shower now and then (just kidding)" ------
Actually, she had already made her mind up to be available shortly after reading Michele's book. It took me a little while to realize she was serious. In confronting her after I got a mad on, and after she had already told me she was willing, I found out a few things about myself. It wasn't fun, but it was necessary.
You might want to have a read of Corri's thread.
As I mentioned before, if you want to see real change in your spouse, you might want to have a good look at yourself. If you are really brave, ask your wife what you have done in the past that has seriously hurt her feelings. Warning, you might not like what you hear.
A relationship is not one-sided. While it may be true that she has a lower drive than you, you might be suprised at what you have done to supress what drive she does have.
I am NOT saying it is all your fault. It is also not all her fault. It IS an issue for both of you to work through. When I started reading Michele's book, I loved the first chapter. Here was proof that I was right, and she needed to change. All the while, I knew that at some point in the book, my part of the responsibility was bound to be taken issue. I really liked the part of the book that told her what to do. The chapters addressing me, weren't as much fun.
I am sure that there are relationships out there where one spouse does everything right, and the other fails at everything. I would suspect that those are also quite rare. Most relationships are a constant mix of miscommunication.
Vigilance, and sometimes, long-suffering, is what makes a marriage last.
I will pose two questions to you, neither are meant to offend, rather to provoke thought.
Have you done your 'homework' with your wife? Is your definition of 'homework' the same as hers?
Hang in there, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
