Sorry to hear that about your Mawmaw. Hope you have someone to talk to through this time. I can understand about not wanting it to be your W without bringing your own emotional marital baggage into it.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.