Now I've done it...again #5

[nephartiti]

Sometimes it is better to communicate things rather than hope the other S will realise.

Yes! I realized this. I found a pattern. I go dark. I do good for a few days. Then I start getting anxious, or H does something to throw me off like not following through on his visits. Now, the best thing, being dark, would be not to react at all and just wait it out. The next best thing would be to cleanly address the issue. I do the least appropriate thing - I bait him into confrntational contact and often make wild unsubstantiated accusations based on imaginative speculation.

So, I am cutting out the third option from my list. When I have "acted out" recently, H has questioned me as to what I am really trying to accomplish. He is actually, in some ways, being the bigger person. With that in mind, I think there is a place to make honest reasonable requests (not demands) and to try to reach an understanding.

You are doing so well and are such a good support to others.

Saffie

Thank you, Saffie. That is a huge compliment coming from you. Really.