The Course of an Affair

[GainingStrength]

JB: I'm working hard at detaching, but it is a long process and takes a lot of persistence. You really have to accept the frequent backsliding, and then just gather yourself and go forward again. Focusing on GALing does help.

Jarhead: Per Michele W. and many other MC experts, most affairs last about six months on average after they come to light, so you're still early. Unfortunately, the first two months are the most painful and seem like years. Your W is still in the euphoria stage. She will make all sorts of plans to be with the OM forever, will tend to neglect your kids, and will act as if you no longer exist except to take care of the kids and cooperate in the divorce settlement. BTW, the OM having two kids and a recent D is actually in your favor. They are time-bombs which will eventually explode and doom the A.

I think you probably won't see any slowdown or uncertainties until the fourth month, and then only if you practice DBing and GALing with a lot of diligence in the face of great pain. Make sure you read the DR book. If by your nickname you mean that you're a Marine, I know you've got the guts to do it. However, it will probably be the most difficult thing you've ever gone through, inside the military or out. Hang in there. If you work hard, it does get better.

LL

P.S. To anyone reading this post, do you know the link to the article on the "Special As-If Model"?