I had to respond after I read your initial post. You see I am in a similar situation. My husband told me out of the blue that he was unhappy and no longer wanted to be married to me, that took place two months ago. I was in shock. I am 28 and he is 32, we will have been married for 3 years in May. Everyone always thought we were the perfect couple. No one, including myself ever realized how unhappy he was. He never told me, or shall I say he never told me in a way that I truly understood how serious the situation was. Our sex life has been lacking from the very beginning, I dont know why? I guess I just chalked it up the fact that I had low/no sex drive. I thought (foolishly) that my husband was okay with that and he understood. I love my husband more than anything in this world and it causes me pain to see how badly I have hurt him. Unfortunately, I now realize that after rejecting him time and time again he just stopped trying. Not to mention the fact that he started to feel unattractive, undesirable and unloved. The anger I saw on my husband's face the night he told me that he no longer loved me hurt me more than words could ever describe. He now blames me for all the problems we have ever had in our marriage. He said that he doesn't hate me but he can't even look at me anymore. Three weeks after my husband told me he was unhappy he filed for divorce and the big date is set for June 3rd. Three short months and our 6 year relationship together will be over. As soon as he told me that I was unhappy I immediately started counseling. (by myself) I have been reading every book that I can get my hands on. I have learned many things, one of them is that I do have a sex drive... unfortunately it was just burried somewhere very deep for a long long time. I am taking control of the only thing that I can, myself. I can't control my husband and I can't make him love me. Until the anger passes, I can't even talk to him about our relationship. To make things worse he is having an affair with a 23 year woman that he works with and claims he is happier than he has ever been. After I found out about the affair, I asked him to move out of our house. I haven't seen him in a month and we barely talk. Everything has been happening so quickly, my head is literally spinning. I don't know if I should keep hope alive or give up. My H has told me that he does not love me, he does not know why we ever got married and he doesn't remember any of the good times. I am currently doing the last resort technique although I'm not sure if it's working since I never see my H. There are a few small signs but I try not to read into them too much because I am afraid of false hope. My main point is I never meant to hurt my husband, I just didn't understand how important his needs were. I'm sure I sound foolish, I mean how blind or selfish could I be? I am in love with him and I do find him attractive, I don't know why I couldn't show him sooner. I'm not saying that this is how your wife feels but sometimes I think we are so blinded by our own fears and feelings we get lost. It is possible for your wife to realize these things if she truly understands that your marriage is in serious jeapordy. I don't know if this makes sense or if I've been rambling...I apologize this is my first time posting and I am a bit nervous. I've been checking out the sight for weeks and it has brought me great comfort as well as hope. Please know you are in my thoughts, try not to give up on your wife just yet.
