Now I've done it...again #5

[nephartiti]

You ladies are truly wonderful. Thank you for checking in on me and for your wise words. I am trying to be patient. I have been too busy today to really focus too much on him. I have a full house. My Bro, SIL, and nephew are camping out here because the fires are only 2-3 miles from their house. We are getting ready to watch Evan Almighty.

Finally watched The Holiday last night. That was a good one.

My BFF's mom, the one who went through this 20+ years ago, reccommended "Why did I get Married". She is so grounded. She says that I must give H more time to really WANT to come home. Only then will he be willing to really make changes. She believes that they should not come home sooner than after 6 months of good counseling. She believes that humans inherently will do as little work as possible. If the LBS is willing to take them back too soon, then the growth stops as soon as they are back, more or less. I know this is not completely true, but I have heard many say that they should not come home too soon.

Anyway, I hate to think of H having his own apartment. It feels like another nail in the coffin, as MK says. I hate that our money will be spread so thin. I have to remember that, hopefully, it is temporary. It is worth waiting a few months and do it "right" than rush things and have it fall apart again because we did things prematurely.

I'm going to work on myself and let H be. I have to work on not having expectations of H. I get so mad when he says he will call/come and then doesn't. I have to stop reacting to that. I have to stop re-living the pre-sep A days when he didn't come home and wouldn't answer his cell. That's what happens. I go right back there. It is ugly and hurtful. I have to "detach".

I'm working on that.

Off to see the movie. I will check on everyone later.