You're doing great, and never forget, you are the prize!!! Your husband is very lucky to have you. I hope for your sake that he understands this.
You know f21, I do believe that anybody can change. Where there's a will there's a way, but I've also come to realize that some people are so broken and have so much baggage that it's easier to run then to face their pain.
I don't know if you'll understand this or not but the way I see my ex is as "always the nice guy" which is one of the reasons they don't say what they feel. That's how he wanted me and others to view him. Always agreeable and seemingly content. What I now know is that people like him (p/a personalities) outwardly do this while stuffing their anger down with all of the other anger that's been building under the surface for a longtime before we ever came into the picture. Unforyunately there was a whole lot of damage done to them that we could not have possibly know about.
So chin up. However this wotks out you will be just fine. Shoot you'll be way more than fine, you'll be great !
