HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND

[goal]

Every thing is fairly quiet in my situation. H out partying alot. My son says he is hardly ever at his place. Makes me sad.

Today I booked a painter to do the outside of the house. He put a big advertising sign in the front. I need to continue to get a life.

My son said that H stated that he has made many mistakes lately. I thought this was quite a statement. No expectations tthough.

[Grace_O]

It's kind of nice that he has enough gray matter left to recognize that he's made alot of mistakes though.

What color is your house going to be?

[forward]

"He still tries to see me, call me, email me. I ignore him. He knows where I live, work, play, etc.. A simple "I'm sorry" would change my lack of communication. That is common decency and respect."

Goal, I will tell you what DB counselor pointed out to me. By asking him to apologize w/o being friendly towards him, you are asking him to write you a big check (the $10,000 apology) from an account (marriage) that he last saw as empty. You need to add some funds to that account. Then maybe he'll add some, too, and will write that check!

So what if you offer a little encouragement now? An out of the blue Hello? Answer a call? A text?

I know he isn't deserving. But think about how hard it is to apologize to someone who won't speak to you.

Actually, there is a logical problem there, too--how can he apologize if you won't speak to him?

[goal]

Grace,

My house is going to be painted three different taupe colors with beautiful plum shutters.

Breton,

Thank you for your advice. I think I will take it and show some response next time he calls.

[goal]

All is quiet in my sitch. No word from H. Kids say he is a little depressed, but shows more of an interest in them.

My next court date is November 20, 2007. This is set up as a trial, but will probably settle before this. There is no activity from his lawyer though. I don't know if this is good or bad.

November 20th is one day before my 20th wedding anniversary (sniff, sniff).

My lawyer called last week and wanted to get this wrapped up. I told her to back off and let it be for now.

H inquiring how much I am paying for the house being painted and who is doing it. He refused to help pay for it at all. My lawyer thinks that when we settle she can get him to pay for half - whatever.

I am so excited. Next Saturday I am hosting Homecoming for my son at our house. We are having (8) homecoming couples including my son and his date and their parents for picture taking and appetizers. I can't wait... This is just another event H is going to miss out on.

[forward]

Good luck, Goal. I guess it has to go one day at a time.

[forward]

Any updates, Goal?