Now I've done it...again #5

[nephartiti]

I like that MK. H has a zillion books, but he is talking about donating them to his bro. Wouldn't want them to stumble on anything. I think I will burn them, probably daily for a while.

I had some neutral contact with H over Text msg today. Early in the month he told me he would pay for D's cloth diapers. He also said "anything" I need to go ahead. I ended up spending $200.00. When he was here last Tuesday talking about the apt., I told him I would replace the money. Also said I had my "half" of our savings still (he's spent his) that he could use for the apt if he needed it.

Today, I put the $200 back in and sent a text FYI. He replied "thanks". ME: "You are welcome. The offer for the 500 hundred still stands as well." H: Thank you.

So, not jumping for joy, but, really, he didn't have to reply to either of those. He did, so that, to me, is at least neutral.

I love him. I want him to come home, but he does need a place when he goes back to work. I have to admit he is right. I am not ready for him to come back. I have to "process" some of my anger and resentment. I really do. If I am this explosive with out him here, how will I handle things with him here. How will I handle when he says he has a meeting and comes home a little late. I am already reliving my betrayal when he doesn't follow through with his word. What can I expect if he were to just come home. He is right. It is not time. < sigh >