All right... so I've about had it.... Thursdays my W has college. Typically, I watch the girls for her while she goes to school. Well.. this time she's been cagey about whether or not she needs me. I guess I just found out why.
I asked again if she needed me and she said her mom was watching them... that's funny.. her mom is going on vacation. I know this because I'm borrowing their truck to take our horse trailer to TN this weekend. When I told her that she started back pedaling and making up excuses. Finally I asked if OM was going to watch them.. this stunned her.. she said they had a play date and she wasn't sure if he was watching them or not. I was sooooo angry.. I snapped.
One thing we promised was that we would have first right of refusal. She just crossed that boundary and I've had it. I cannot stand her lying to the kids (about calling and then not calling) or being denied my right to see the kids.
She got mad and said I was making her out to be a bad person. DUH!! OK.. so that was stupid. I told her I didn't care if her and Eric were doing their thing and she said "I know.. you don't care about anything.. me or being my friend"
What the &^$*&%^Q*E&EW&&!@#@@#@@#$#@#$#@#@$#@$#@$#@@$# does she want from me? I've been nothing but friendly and she treats me like complete and utter !@#@!@!$@##!$@#!##@$!##@$!#. I want off this ride!!
Jar, I would tell her that you do not wish for them to be aroung the OM. Tell her that this a confusing time to them and you do not wish to confuse them anymore and you would really like to spend time with your girls.
By the way I think she is way out of line. I'm sorry you and your girls are having to go through this.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yeah... it's gotten worse. We went back and forth on the phone a few times. I've basically told her I'm done. I can't stand to be in this pain anymore. Her response is I've caused her so much pain. Whatever.. I'm tired of the lies and BS. When their R crashes and it will... she will come crying back. IF she's lucky, I'll still be around for her.
Jar, I think that is the standard reply that everything is our fault. We all know that isn't true. Yes, we own part of the problems, but certainly not all of them. Anything that we do right now while trying to regain our family couldn't even come close to the the trauma they have caused the family.
Take care of yourself and I believe going dark is the way to go.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Jar, Hang on it will be a rocky road. I swear their moods change with the wind. Just be your nice normal self without being a doormat. Don't pursue or beg. Her attitude will change. She will see that "He" is not as great as she thinks he is.
Actually getting all the kids together (his and hers) might not be a bad idea. Have you ever noticed how other people's kids get on your nerves far more than your own. There certainly will be bickering. Hmmmm.....this might be good.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Not sure I agree there... a friend of mine woke me up to this reality earlier today. My W has known these kids about as long as ours. Our kids go to the same school and my wife has taught there since my oldest was ~2. So she's taught their oldest.
She's in love with their kids about as much as him. I think I'm screwed in that dept. Although.. I know there has already been a chink. He ignored her one night while she was over there and she felt abandoned.
Do I go back to being friendly, or do I go dark for a while?
