we had a bit of an e-mail exchange (2 crossed, we e-mailed at the same time):
from me:
I'm sorry about that just now, H. I keep thinking I have made a ton of progress, but every once in a while I take a step back for a bit....my emotions were a bit heightened from your e-mail this morning just me wondering what it is specifically you want to talk about.
from him (the one that crossed): She (meaning his mom, about saturday) is available all day and night so whatever works for you.
I will deposit that check (stocks) today. I really did just forget, I was not being underhanded or evil.
my response: you don't have to do it today, I know you weren't being evil or underhanded...I know that. I don't think you are evil, H. I know you are a good man. I hadn't even checked the acct, had to today for a different reason and realized it wasn't there and didn't know if you had decided on something I didn't know about. again, probably my emotions being a bit heightened.
anytime works for me on saturday. do you have a preference?
his response:
Morgan, you and I both know that I am not a good man. I’m not evil either, probably somewhere in the middle but you don’t have to say that.
Do you want me to come in morning or at night? Do you want to do like 5 and I can just have her put them to bed.
my response:
5 is perfect.
and I do know you are a good man. a good man who had done some not-so-good things, but a good man none-the-less.
he should be here in the next half hour/hour to spend some time with the kids, and I'm headed out while he is here. going to try to keep a check on my mouth until saturday...not easy for me sometimes, obviously.
my therapist is coming in special for me thursday...she normally starts at 10 but is having her mom take her own kids to day care (her kids are about the same ages as mine) so she can meet me an hour earlier. I'm grateful she is so wonderful and willing to do this, I need the appt. to help deal with saturday.
she gave me an assigment in the meantime, so have that to work on.
just hoping to get thru tonight. I really wish that damned bill hadn't come today, and if it had, I wish I hadn't opened it.
ahh, well, water under the bridge.
wish me luck, all. the next couple of hours are not going to be easy.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
