DR Chapter 1 - Well-Meaning Friends and Family

[MaxP]

I have just started re-reading DR with a view to taking it more slowly and actually putting some effort into thinking and acting on what I read, rather than simply reading and thinking at the same time. This is mainly for me, since I have lost sight of who I am and what I want from life, but also because I need to understand why my W fell out of love with me.

Reading Chapter 1 reminds me that what Michelle writes makes so much sense, but it only adds to my confusion as to why my W has not fought harder for our R (it is distinctly possible I have been blind on this front). I have also realised that it is difficult to reach some form of understanding when mutual friends are not aware of the other partners' views. I have had no real conversations with any of my W's friends, family or colleagues about our R - and the same is probably true for her. The only two sided discussions that have occurred have been between us and with a couples therapist for 3 session.

All I know that some of her friends have expressed admiration for what she is done - because they are unhappy in their Ms, others shock and one who has been there before warned her to be certain about what she was doing. I can't help feeling that my voice has been strangely absent from most conversations and with so little contact between us after separation, there was little room for positive change.

Although there has been no sign of hope for our M and I have recently been given the "it's over" verdict following a period of separation, I have made a conscious decision to go through the DR process again but far more carefully. This is for my own therapy as much as anything. However, it would be nice to think that there was still some small ray of hope for us too.

Finally, reading chapter one prompted the following thought : has anyone dared give a WAW DR to read? Did they actually read it ad if so, did any of it sink in?

Thanks,

Max