He's on Match.com

[NikB]

I see an awful lot of focus on your H and who he wants you to be, things you are guessing he wants you to do, etc.

Are any of these things changes that YOU want to make, for yourself?? If not they will be temporary, feel fake to you, and be obviously fake (and likely come across as manipulative) to your H.

If they are changes you truly WANT to make for yourself then by all means, go for it, but it's dangerous territory to start morphing yourself into someone who's "not you" just for your H.

Of course, I guess I would be running the risk that he would find some hottie in the meantime, schtup her and ruin our fidelity; but that could happen whether i see him or not.

Yep. Totally out of your control.