I check this site every once in a while. I happened to see Just Me's post and read a bit. I'm the other half of Just Me.
I certainly appreciated all that Just did for me while we were apart. He was easier to talk to and be with than when we were married. We'd both agree on that. I was the one who left. Everyone kind of blames it on a person or that a walk away spouse left for someone else but that's not always the case. I was talking to someone online and was in love with that person who never revealed their identity to me. In other words, I was duped pretty good but I bought it so I guess, in essence, I duped myself. Regardless, Just's kindness and work on his own life spoke often to me. The thing was, I wasn't willing to give him much of a chance because I was hung up on someone else. After I let that go, I was able to try again with him. I'm not sure if he could have done much by way of getting me back except for the things that he did do. It wasn't until I was ready that I could actually try to make it work with him. I'm by no means saying I'm a great catch and it was all up to me and I'm all that. I am saying that I couldn't see anything with him until I let go of whomever. It was something I wanted to do for a lot of different reasons.
I think that you are doing the right thing by being there as best you can be without being walked on or used or whatever. I was skeptical of any "improvements" he was making in and for himself because I thought it might be a tactic to bring me back only for it to be the same all over again.
I will say what I thought of any Divorcebusting advice to start dating while separated. To me, it meant that I didn't mean much to him and only confirmed those notions that I had before I left.
