There and Back, #10

[SallyM]

thanks, care. thanks so much. omg, I wish someone could do this for me. I want to go hide under the bed until its over.

called my therapist and will talk to her later, maybe see if she can see me on thursday, if not, will just talk to her on the phone.

am going to write down the responses you guys are giving...I need to practice them. and make sure to have a water bottle near.

will try to listen, will try to say the responses. I need a plan...thanks. will not tell him my feelings, other than this is not what I want, but understand he feels the need to go this route.

I need to keep a check on my emotions and knee-jerk resonses. I need to keep a check on snark and sarcasm. I need to not bring OW up at all. I need to find some kind of inner strenght, even if I feel like a meringue.

my sister just called and I told her what was going on. I think she's frustrated at this point...when I said he said we can't go on this way, she asked, "well, he's right, you can't." but I wanted to be ready first. if it had to happen, I wanted to be really ready for it. I wanted it to be my choice. but I guess it never really would have been my choice, since none of this is what i want to begin with.

I am not well. I will be okay, but wow, I am not well right now.