CVA - Not sure I have figured anything out?

[Not Much Left]

Nomo

Yep, did the voice dialogue therapy. I am getting better, my key is to understand others dont think like pusher CVA. Lower expectations!

11 doesnt mean anything, I think I must have hit Crtl V and had copied 11 from somewhere else.

Thanks on all the praise, yes I am hustling you, I am pretty confident guy, in general, just been thrown for a loop the past year or so. All nice comments and I havent smiled that much in a while, thanks bud! I am almost certain those were hired guns to make me feel good!

Played Golf, was so freakin tired it actually helped my game. It was so nice out it was distracting, like a little kid out there staring up at the blue sky thinking about life, but had a great time, how could I not! 2 more red bulls, 2 double tall mochas, 2 or threee cokes and when I got home was so tired just fell asleep, then had to endure dinner with my hot wife and her equally hot sister and 6 kids. It is interesting to watch the faces of all the husbands when we walk into a restuarant. I am sure they are trying to figure out which one is with Peyton Manning and why? Both? he he he...

Yes I am a wussie!

No I am not a stalker, sorry Puddle and Sunny! Just having chats about interesting people.

Holiday talk. I think no gift, again, why? I am just going to act "as if" and deal with what comes.

On her taking the kids out of town. I am cool with it if it happens after xmas but if she wants to do it Over Christmas, forget it, I will put my foot down. On Thanksgiving, I conversly am thinking about taking them skiing in Whistler. The difference here is I will actually plan it out and tell her and she will not tell me jack until like 2 days before no matter how many times I ask. That is the problem.

Whew, that was tiring.
C

[SunnySeason]

CVA,

Funny how being extra tired will sometimes help an activity.
It goes back to that not trying so hard thing I guess.

Holiday talk. I think no gift, again, why? I am just going to act "as if" and deal with what comes.

I agree CVA, that's the best way to go.

On her taking the kids out of town. I am cool with it if it happens after xmas but if she wants to do it Over Christmas, forget it, I will put my foot down. On Thanksgiving, I conversly am thinking about taking them skiing in Whistler. The difference here is I will actually plan it out and tell her and she will not tell me jack until like 2 days before no matter how many times I ask. That is the problem.

It sounds like, & I could be wrong on this, you both tell each other the way it's going to go on the holidays.
Have you attempted to discuss what you'd like to see happen beforehand, or do you get more of the shut down response?

I would have a problem with my kids being taken out of town on Christmas, unless there's mutual agreement, if you've D'd it's a different story & usually years are swapped.
It's less defined w/separation, so trickier in a way I guess.


And you are not a wussie

L&L,

Sunny

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Sunny.

What I meant by all that is I get nothing during a convo other than I don't know, no matter how hard I try, then she "pops" out with what "she" has decided. No discussion and while we were together, I would say "so, were you going to talk to me about this?" ... "I did", wrong, I don't forget discussions when I am actually interested in the outcome! Aka Ari.

So, long way of saying discussing things with her yields nothing but frustration on my end. I will invite her skiing if I go, nice place in Whistler so her loss if she doesn't. For the first time I could see me having a fantastic time with all 4 kids by myself.

Not "getting any" anyway so might as well ski my arse off and not worry about "that".

Funny how all my conversations center or end up on one topic.!

Today's challenge, I gotta get outta here, watching football outside while I get the silent treatment. I should just put the house up for sale and see if I get a reaction out of that!

Need to start adding some vodka to my red bull.

C

[Not Much Left]

Hey
Any Santana fans out there u gotta get "ultimat Santana", new one with Chad Kroeger, plus of course "Smooth" by my man Rob Thomas, plus Michelle Branch...

Just a little fun info for anyone with really good taste!

Clothes talk anyone?

Remodeling / homebuilding advice?

I would give legal advice but I have been told to leave that to the experts! Nomo?

Super nice in Houston always puts me in a good mood.

C

[Not Much Left]

Nobody's around this weekend!

Entourage is on, perfect end to a nice day. Nomo, I know u get these on your BB, what's up bro, what did u decide to do tonight?

C

[new_attitude]

Hi CVA!!
I just found your new thread and had to say hello and that your goals sound great.

I am trying not to think about the holidays (head in the sand approach, for now). Nov. through Jan. will be tough (Tgiving, twins' bday, Christmas, d1's bday) and I have no idea what we're going to do.

[waw1978]

Sorry CVA no PC at home so no commentary until weekdays.

Hope you had a good weekend!

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

How are you? Resting your fingers after those (for you) marathon posts?

Definitely not a Santana fan, but if you're a Pogues fan, my advice is to get out there and see them quick. I think tickets were so expensive because Shane McGowan can't possibly survive much longer---it's a miracle that someone that alcohol-addled is vertical at all. Fun show, though, weirdly.

Any holiday talk going on at your place? Any more thoughts on the email to W? Movement on your housing sitch?

Take care.

[Not Much Left]

Hey Puddle!
Saw your post. Sounds like you guys are moving to a different place and I get the sense there is some tension lifted?

No Talk at all that is the problem and always has been. This just sucks and I have to deal with it. As you know, i would like to just talk it out one way or another but....I suppose I have accepted that I cannot do anything about that. Believe me, that is a tough place to get to for me or I suspect anyone like me. Talking to her is literally like bashing my head against the wall, even for simple stuff. I just cant do that anyomre.

Every day I slowly pull back just a little more, I can sense it, I wonder if she can? Not trying to control that, it is really subconcious as much as my concious mind wants to DB and all that, it is happening in the back of my mind, "dont respond to that BS, it wont do any good CVA" You know what I mean?

The more that happens the more it will happen. What I am wondering right now is that I assume this is not a good technique to getting a R back, because it is like a failing marriage, it just "happens" vs. a concerted wake up call of a 180, me moving out, whatever. Subtle vs. a Hammer.

So, CVA is about to start writing "the email"... I will get it out, just been trying to enjoy last weekend as it was so nice here and yesterday kind of in a funk. I was Super Tired yesterday, then ended up staying up way too late but for a good cause.

I have the house narrowed down. I have decided to go for the "ready to move in" version as I and my colleagues concluded my time is better spent focusing on work than redoing a house.

Thoughts anyone, really would appreciate some feedback on my rambling. Whew Puddle, my fingers are now officially worn out!

Time for some caffeine!

[Heimlich]

CVA,

Regarding the house, I may be confusing you with someone else, but if you like to be hands-on remodeling a house, that might be a way for you to do something you enjoy to take your mind off of your R. If you're like me and can barely tell which end of the hammer to use, focusing on work sounds like the way to go

Anyway, just a thought.

BD