Moving forward

[SueS]

Bwild-

I am soooooo glad that you are getting so many responses. I jumped on to check and you had 2 pages! There are some amazing people on this board.

I was the queen of snoopers at one time. Part of my job was to do background checks, skip tracing....etc. My H knows that I know how to get information (legally of course!). It is hard has hell to stop. I haven't looked at my H's phone in 2 weeks. He's left it out in the open or sitting at home when he's left for something. I've had every opportunity and not a peek. I understand your frustration about the emotions that your snooping brings up in your spouse. They are doing wrong, yet make you feel guilty because you snooped. I wanted to yell.....FOR GODSAKE.....I looked because there was obviously a problem in our marriage and I want it fixed!!! Saffie was right when she said that snooping got you the confirmation you needed to say.....This is what's happening. Trust me, your spouse will not FORGET that there's a problem just because you stopped snooping.

And that feeling in the pit of your stomach. It too will get better. A lot of us have lost a lot of weight because of that feeling. I'm not saying that it will completely leave, but it will get better.

I'm glad that you're going to your counseling session. As long as you want to work on this, you are in a GREAT spot from what I see. Your W wants to work on things, she's ended it, she's willing to look for another job...etc. That's GREAT. Also, it may take some time for her to get over things. Is that fair to you??? NO, but it's true. Some of us....me, lwb....etc., are still in a spot where our H's either haven't given up the A or are still foggy about what they want. YOU are in a spot that many of us want to be in. I'm not trying to tell you how to feel. Husband is right. Only you know what will work for you and only you truly know how you feel. I'm just saying that you're in a great position.

Have a great day!! We're here for you.

SueS