I've been keeping busy with life and lurking from time to time. Y'all know the drill: kids, school, work, house. It keeps me running and happy. If you take the whole infidelity quagmire out of my life, I'm living my dreams, and even with the challenges factored back in, I'm fortunate indeed.
So, how are things going with H? I think we're getting there, but it's going to be a long time before I feel truly safe.
A couple weeks ago, I dug up some stuff that indicates fairly recent, affectionate correspondence from H to OW. (I'm not obsessively scrutinizing every move he makes, but I do feel it's important to verify that he's being truthful with me.) We had a serious R conversation about that, and taking H's actions of the past six months into consideration, I feel confident that overall we are headed forward together.
He has so many work and personal projects going on lately. Family time has been sliding down the priority ladder, but he does try to give me some attention when he finally rolls in late at night. He sleeps closer to me now, touches me in his sleep, little things that were missing for so long.
I'm trying to focus on becoming a better me, seeking to have true charity for him and everyone around me, trying to keep from being frustrated that he's not diligently on the same path I am. He is who he is, it is not my responsibility to change him.
I think I need to start doing some more in-depth learning about boundaries--how to choose, make and maintain healthy boundaries. I feel that I have a hard time sticking to my boundaries in the face of my desire to not come across as unpleasant or judgemental.
Glad to see you back up on the boards. You approach sounds good and should take you in the right direction. I agree there seems to be some positives coming out of H. The boundaries thing, now that's a tough challenge. Hang in there, stay tough. I like your approach.
Good to see you posting and great to hear that you and your H are moving forward at a comfortable pace. You post was medicine for me.. I needed to read you words about allowing your H to go down his path and it's not your responsibility to change him. Thanks for sharing your progress and wisdom. I'm so happy things are going well with you!!
Yes, even from day one I could remember trying to figure out how to solve W problems for her, so we could get past our problems. I guess it's a matter of dropping the rope one finger at a time.
It is also amazing that even though we don't think so that there is still people on this board, who might not be posting, but are still reading and trying to follow our sitch. Sometimes I find that I might not have anything to say, just trying to keep up on sitches so that I can pitch in when things start going really wrong.
glad to read your positive update hon)))))))) One has to remember that piecing is done one step at a time, to count every small baby step. To remember we all march at the beat of our own drum.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Aud, Good to see another thread from you to wipe my feet and loiter for awhile. Your are the true positive light, no conjured up spin doctoring. I agree with you on all accounts.
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Family time has been sliding down the priority ladder, but he does try to give me some attention when he finally rolls in late at night.
My, don't I know about this one...Feeling the squeeze myself but it's good that you are keeping proper perspective.... I stand up with applause...giving you a well deserved ovation for your persistent deligence and wisdom...peace
Thank you Phoenix, Cat and Whapu for dropping by. I missed hearing from each of you in my thread-less existence.
Not a whole lot going on around here...in my book, that's good. I'm happy to just BE.
My birthday is this weekend, and H bought me a new ring today (with some...okay, a lot...of encouragement and direction from me Hey, if I'm not specific about what I want, what are the chances he'll just KNOW?). I'm excited about it, because somehow in all our drama in April, my wedding ring disappeared, and I'm ready to have his ring back on my finger.
