Annie - yes I think that is part of it too. I don't think h realises his sons see more of their cousin [who lives in NY] than they do him, and certainly have much more contact.
My h cannot bear the thought of being the person he knows he currently is. . . . if that makes sense.
He is also conflicted about his nephew going out there, because politically h supports the war, and yet he knows that this mission is dangerous . . . And he does care about nephew, and perhaps it makes him think about how he would feel if it was his kid, instead of his sister's. . . .
As a family we don't do much in the way of breeding [I set a bit of a counter example with three kids], so there are very few cousins around, and they are very close.
