It sounded like a good thing to say because it is short, direct, and honest.
But, I didn't understand others were in the room. Certainly it was a good idea not to spring it on the kids.
Anyway, with regard to your anniversary, I'd suggest you do nothing, not even the backup card. IF she initiates something, you can always react spontaneously, authentically, and sincerely, whatever that means at the time.
A distant, removed, anniversary card that does nothing other than to highlight the gaping wound in your lives by its contrast with what an anniversary card should be isn't really going to be good for anyone.
