I don't think you could/should have done anything different w/ the church and the OM. Whether you "shared" your knowledge or not, they would have known everything. If OM is willing to commit adultery, he should not hold any position in the Church, although that's just my opinion.

Your W can be mad at you for it, but it would have happened whether you contributed or not.

Sounds to me like she may finally *figure* things out. She'll probably need time to clear her head and then she will wonder what the H*LL she was thinking, however, you will be there to lovingly assure her that your M CAN be ok in spite of all you've been through. At that point, she will realize who has stuck by her through her "shenanigans."

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10