Thanks for the thought. However, I am finished DBing. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to go back to begging, pursuing, etc. But I am growing tired of working on something that she does not want. She has made clear her intent to pursue a divorce, so I feel like I am wasting time, emotion, hope, and energy trying to save something that may, in fact, be already dead.
So henceforth my focus will be on moving on with my life. Regarding counseling, the subject has come up - counseling on how to co-parent. I'm not going to bring it up. The choice on where to go from here is hers.
What will she tell the children? I don't know, but she knows that I will not let her get away with saying, "We have decided to get a divorce." It' going to be more like, "Mom wants a divorce," and she does not want to be the "bad guy."
I think that by now she knows that her boyfriend is a phantasm. She knows he is not a long-term solution. I believe that she is still talking to him - maybe still having sex, but I have no way of knowing either. But, as I said, I have moved on, and she is free to make choices with her life. If that's what she wants, I have freed her to pursue it. I have done all that I can.
From here on, my actions will be focused on me and my kids. I need to move on.
