Wow. That was such a fantastic post and the end was a great reminder of what you need to be like, (and I am sure CAN do).
Already your W has shown you glimmers of hope I think. Sharing OM's W's email and her response is good; that must have hurt her to get that email and deal with it. To be able to laugh together, even at something so grim, shows there is still a good connection in there somewhere. I do believe that if you separate at the worst you will remain friends. If that is the case your children will be fine.
I expect things will change so fast now and your W's emotions will be all over the place. In the end though I think this truly will bring you some much needed resolution into what was a 'ticking time bomb' situation. OM'w W now knows and everyone now knows her reaction. That she wants to try to work things out with her H can only be a relief as is Om's rejection of your W.
I understand what you are saying about your W's lack of understanding re LBS feelings but it is early days and she needs time. She has been very rejected. Even if things were nearly over, if she did love OM - or even just think she did - it is still an extra kick to be rejected for someone else. You know that; you have lived with those feelings a long time. Unfortunately for a while I think she will be "Woe is me" still but she will start to then look forward and if you have been consistent in your actions then she will notice the changes.
Your advisors are so right - you are blessed to have them. Please heed there advice and make sure you are OK. Then as they so rightly say, your children will be OK and the rest will flow from that.
You take care my fine friend.
(((((HUGS))))))))
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
