You can't win when the other person won't play fair. She has decided to treat you with contempt, and she will continue to do that until she sees that it nets her nothing.
In my past I could be ugly to my husband, somewhat like your wife, but not to such an extreme. He reacted by treating me with contempt too. That did not make the situation better. It made it worse. Then he withdrew completely and started an affair with another woman. At that point I realized that my lifestyle had been jeopardized by my behavior. (I do not believe that all wives are as reasonable as I and would understand their own culpability, but I did.) It was at that point that we started to change things. You know that Retrouvaille worked for us. I know it doesn't work for everyone. Anyway, you know the rest of my story. It was when I really stood to lose him that I woke up and fought for my husband. Short of that I don't believe you can change your wife's behavior.
