Thank you all!! I knew you would understand. My best friend doesn't get it so I can't even talk to her about it. My IC is wonderful and I made an appointment with her later in the week...What I think I am hearing from all of you is not to discuss my feelings with H...just be patient. As far as kickboxing...that would work and I am going to look into it! I just wish it wasn't so hard...and that H would have never done this...UGH, I never had to worry about trust before and now I get a pit in my stomach if he is 15 minutes late from work...
Way back in the beginning of time ... when I was reading all I could get my hands on and repeating most of it as if it came with a warranty ... there was a concept you may have also seen. I bring it up because you ask why this has to be so hard.
The idea was that a M recovered from the brink of mlc becomes stronger and better than it ever was before. Of course, we sense that this is because after seeing the other side of hell you would both appreciate each other so much. Your new sense of self and deeper understanding of each other create a bond you could not have had before even though you were both comfortable.
The point of course is that it HAS to be this hard. If it weren't, you wouldn't end up with that amazing incredible new M. Focus on getting yourself to be amazing and incredible. Let your H do his own work. He will end up having to catch up to you if you will stop waiting around for him.
Was2sad - you are one of the posters here who always manages to say something fresh, pertinent and full of insight. It is invidious, perhaps to single individuals out, because so many people post so well, but I don't think I have ever read a post of yours or Always that hasn't made me think 'Yes' that is so helpful and so right'.
w2s, great words of wisdom! Thank you! I understand it needs to be hard for it to be better and H is really trying hard. I feel it, I see it...at first I think he was trying to impress but now I think he truly is doing things because he wants to. I always felt we had an extremely strong bond...maybe its that foundation that has helped for us to reconcile. thanks again for all the great words!! I can always count on all of you...
