Welcome to this board, but so sorry you have to be here. Its a fantastic place for support. I would be lost without it.
I too, have had the life knocked out of me this summer. It brought suspicion, then denial, then admittance of an EA, then my discovery of a very involved PA. Then calls from OW's H to fill me in even more. This is where you and I differ, your W wants to work it out and my H is still foggy, big time.
Nasty, dark place to be in, snooping around like a crazy person, trying to find answers, feeling so alone. I feel so bad you were there too.
H has also said he feels stripped of his privacy, even though I have stopped snooping. I used to care that he felt this way, but I don't anymore. He is also accusing me of cheating, which is so far from the truth.
You have some good things to work with here. I am sure the sting of her privacy being invaded will fade when she realizes why you did it. You owe her nothing in that regard. Now, many smart people on here have said to me that snooping is not attractive in a mate, and if you are trying to 'win' your wife back, then this might be a good thing to stop.
Now is a great time to take all the energy you put into being a part of your wife's mess into being the Dad that you are made to be. It'll do nothing but bring positives into your life. Take care.
