Thank you for the replies, advice, and encouraging words. I intend to go through with the counselling, at least for a while. I'm feel good that she has moved past it, and pretty much had before I found out. She has agreed to start looking for a job, and I have stressed that it must happen soon. Initially, I basically said you have to be done there Monday, but I backed off.. this obviously wouldn't be any easier with us having financial woes as well. I believe she is committed, I hope she is. What really chaps my axx, is the fact that my snooping/discovery seems to warrant as much hard feelings/mistrust has her infidelity. For the first couple days, I just wanted it to work bad, wanted to believe her, that other than a few tantrums in the garage, tears, expletives, and ultimately bloody knuckles and a refrigerator that knew who was boss(all of this in the garage, alone BTW), I spent the whole time making her feel better. By today, I didn't have much of that left in me... She is emotional about everything, including the fact my best friend knows, and was involved in the 'discovery'. She seemed remorseful, but that lessened when I confessed the snooping (prior to that the evidence was anon). But to me, the two do not compare...The summer beat the fire out of me. Finding out the truth brought some of that back... I don't want to lose that again. When she is down and sad about things, basically waiting for me to 'help' her out, I so much want to bring it all up again, just so she doesn't lose sight of WHY we are where we are at, but I know that won't help. I guess it'll probably all come out in our session on Wed. Why the hell do I have to be sorry for this situation??? Why do I have to be the rock through it? I do guarantee one thing. If we take a run at making it work, and it has not ended.. if and when I find out, there will be no second chance. Great advice on focusing on you and your children - good for you!. That is one of the things that hurts me the most. Prior to this, I was proud of the father I was. This summer I feel like I've let that slip a little as result of the insanity, and I feel horrible about it. I intend to start making up time in that arena.
Thanks for listening guys, and good luck with your own situations. B
