So I'm feeling all bummed that she didn't call me when she dropped oldest D off at kindergarten.. when she calls.
I could tell she's been thinking. She had a hard time talking. She wanted to say stuff but couldn't. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was just very depressed. I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She said she did but she didn't have time. She takes D to school and then goes back to work.
We chatted about what was going on with D's at school and how youngest has a cough. Then she asked who was going with me this weekend to sell our horse trailer.
She thinks I'm seeing someone.. she's mentioned it several times and I don't mess with it. I'm assuming she thought that I would take whoever it was.
She said several times ... "I'm just calling to say... to say hi"
I can almost feel her wanting to say "I love you"
I'm not getting too excited though... she'll flip around and go the other way soon enough.
wouldn't that be great, jarhead, if we could skip all the middle crap that we have to work thru if we are ever going to reconcile? seriously. I watched some of a favorite show of mine, where two of the characters had been broken up for a while. then one of them says this:
"Things fall apart. They fall apart so hard...You can't ever put 'em back the way they were...it's just... You know, it takes time. You can't just have coffee and expect...There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again on both sides. You have to learn if - if we're even the same people we were. If you can fit in each others lives. It's a long and important process, and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?"
I wish it were that easy. but its not. ugh.
Last edited by morgan; 10/22/0707:01 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
It's very true that the process sucks, but it's almost worth it in the end. The lessons that we learn and the changes we go through personally end up being for the best. We come out better & stronger people inside & out (can't say I'm complaining that I now weigh 127 lbs!!!!!)
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Good thing is Jar that your W is by no means confident that she is making the right decision. Its not like shes running forward and not looking back. She is still very occupied with looking in the rear view mirror and constantly thinking about turing around. Keep up what you are doing.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07
Yeah... we talked this evening. She's got school tonight and we talked about that for a few minutes.
She mentioned that should be getting a list of musical events that she needs to pick from to go to for school. We have always talked about us going together as friends.
She brought it up and said "If you're still interested" I said "Sure"
She wasn't as preoccupied this time... she was also just coming back from getting her nails done.
That's another funny thing. She spends so much money on herself now.. and complains I'm taking the girls places she can't afford. Huh.. imagine that!!
She said she would call the girls ~6/6:30, and of course she didn't. Who knows what happened. I worked out and she finally texted me askig how the girls went down and that she missed them.
I let it go for a little bit.. I was busy anyway. She responded angrily "OK never mind- no answer! Have a great night..."
Yada Yada.
So I responded and we went back and forth about her class and how neat it was. No call.. I'm assuming OM was with her.
So no text this morning. This is different from her usual behavior lately. Not sure what it means.
I take D's to school and she looks great.. she tells me I look good and I return the compliment.
She offered no excuse.. asked how the D's did and I told her they had a bad night.. youngest was up several times.
I did slide a little and mentioned some things that are coming up with oldest D and school, and I wanted to talk to her about them last night but she didn't call. She didn't offer an answer.
Later she asked if I was mad at her.. I said no and acted as if.
As I was leaving, I saw OM's ex W bringing their kids to school... it clicked that she was with him.. probably all night.
I slipped again.. I said "Oh... that's why you didn't call" I was walking away with youngest D and she said "what?" I responded "nothing" and walked away.
I can't swear, but I think she said "I love you" as I walked away... probably just hearing things though.
Ok, you are officially getting a big slap on the hand from me! You need to stop -- in a way when you make comments like that, you are egging her on for an argument, not for her to so "oh, no, dearest, I wasn't w/ OM last night. I actually just was so tired, I fell asleep early. I'm really sorry that I didn't call."
If she's going to come around, she needs to do it on her terms and on her time table. Making comments, etc. that may make her feel "guilty" will not put you in a good light, trust me. It will make her angry and make her turn away from you.
You need to be the strong, supportive, loving H that she will want to come back to once she gets her sh*t together.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I slipped again.. I said "Oh... that's why you didn't call" I was walking away with youngest D and she said "what?" I responded "nothing" and walked away.
Jar
BTDT be cafefull Red will find ya and give ya a wooping
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
