impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

Hey Sandi! I was wondering how you were doing.. was actually waitng for YOU to post on a new (non-locked?!) thread :-)

Thanks for your reply. I'm not exactly a talker. but I sure am a fixer. and if i think that fixing something needs to be done by talking...then I talk until it's fixed! or at least, I want to

She knows when you want to talk about the R that you are going to tell her what you think needs to be done. Being strong-willed....she probably doesn't want to hear that.

yup, reckon you're right on there...along with the whole "over-bearing" thing.

The irony is.. she is a talker. Just not about our relationship. I have been trying to have zero R talk in the last few months. and it's been going pretty good.

we've been separated since june 2006
I barely get to see her at all now. We kindasorta "have" to see each other once every two weeks for kid exchange, but not more than that.
Last few months, though, she's actually invited me on the "off" weekend, to do various things with our children. it's been really nice.

I really hope this doesnt set us back 3 months. it would be a real shame.

I'm trying to decide if I should drop her a little online "hi" message or not tonight. When things are neutral between us, sometimes it can be taken positively.

As far as what to do about her being mad.........I think she probably is one that holds grudges and there is not one thing you can do about that. My advice would be to apologize when you know you are wrong.....and then live and let live. Go on and be relaxed, cool and fun.

i guess I'll have to.

If she trys to keep bringing it up after you apologized....tell her you aren't going to re-hash that again. Refuse to talk about it...walk away if you have to. but don't allow her to push your buttons and get into a verbal fight.

Hmm... sounds appealing to ME, at least.. but i'm not sure how I can do that, without seeming rude to HER.

She has, in the past, blocked positive guestures from me, for some number of days/weeks after some fight, with,
"I'm still mad at you over ..."

If she keeps bringing it up any time I try to be nice...

i guess you're saying that I should just politely stop trying to be nice, and walk away?