Stop thinking that you will get the person you knew on the line if you do reach out. Make yourself remember the disappointing, alien-like interactions you have with them, which are deluded, crazy-making, ridiculous, twisted logic. That is who you will get, remember that, and it will take the urge to call, away!
is the best piece of advice I've ever seen offered. Because it is painfully true.
I was the worst for breaking this one. I would talk myself out of calling H but a few hours would pass and then I'd do it. He'd either not pick up (which then made me sick with upset because I figured he was with ow) or, he would answer and act like he just couldn't be bothered with me. Neither result made me feel any better. On the contrary, I only felt lower.
What helped: 1.Posting here; reading threads; searching the Internet to read about depression. 2.Journaling. I think I've gone through 9 journals. Big ones. 3.Calling close family members/friends that made me know they would not tire of talking with me about this, no matter how bad off I was. 4.A warm bath and hot tea. 5.Sleep.
It is so, so hard in the early stages of this to get through the day. I have been there, and I remember how terrible I felt. I never believed I would feel better. It didn't matter what anyone said. But the truth is, TIME helps you. It does. If I am here posting that I am better than I was 2 years ago, believe me, anyone can make it, because I was very sick and depressed for many months over this.
I wish we didn't need a forum like this, but since we do, I'm glad so many share helpful tips to get the newcomers through the darkest days.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
