Well, I vented to my MOM instead of yelling at him. I knind of wish she would tell him he needs to move away if he is goung to continue having an affair. I mentioned that my meat and potatoes H bacame a vegan and he went from dressing like a tennis player to dressing very emo. He is pretty immersed in this emo cult which yousee is for very young disturbed youth, similar to goth back in my day. here is a clip that talks about it from Youtube. [url=<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-R_PoiIJfEs&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-R_PoiIJfEs&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>]EMO[/url]
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
tick tock, I think this is getting nuts. I watched two past episodes on Oprah on infidelity and talking to kids about divorce but I never get the strength to do what is right. I want to protect my kids but I do not have the strength to tell my H what to do. It is like he still intimidates me very much that I cannot stand up to him. And he weighs much less than me and I deal with much tougher people daily at my ghetto school and my bar job. I think I hate him. I am starting to think he is the enemy.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
mk, take a break. I order you to take a break from this for the next 24 hours. seriously. get it out of your mind. try. watch a movie that makes you bawl your eyes out. watch a show that makes you laugh your ass off. something, anything. you need to release this pent up emotion somehow. take a kickboxing class. pull out an old tae bo tape. something.
He is not the enemy, honey. he is a screwed up lost soul who has been stupid and idiotic and fogged up enough to f up his life with you and his kids. as far as I know, he is not endangering them or you. he is making life tough for you, yes, he is hurting you, yes, but he is not, again as far as I know, doing things that will cause you guys real harm.
am I wrong here?
you need to get your mind on yourself and moving yourself forward. I'm a little bit worried about you. I think you get sucked into the anger. trust me, I understand the anger...I do. I get so mad sometimes I want to hit things, and I am NOT a violent person by any means. try not to focus on H anymore. He's a big loser wannabe emo person. you are a strong, beautiful, vibrant, passionate, wonderful woman who has a real future ahead of her. look at what you were able to do last weekend....you didn't let anything stop you or hold you back. you moved forward, you even had some fun.
take care, mk. if you ever need it, my e-mail is morganagain at gmail.com. I know you are wary of phone calls with internet people, but if you ever need it, I will e-mail you my cell number. you can caller id block your own if that helps you be more comfortable. I'm here if you need to talk.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
You are absolutelyy right!! I just need to do that drink a full glass of water trick. I left the kids at my mom's an hour early. She was happy to do that. I cleaned my house, put up Halloween decorations, and even did something that would make Neph proud, I took a pic of my son watching TV and sent it to my H with a funny text saying that those calves on my son were mine! Tonight is yoga with the gals even if I do have to work tonight and tomorrow day. Yikes, back to back. My D6 started crying that I was alwats at work or always tired. Uh oh. The effects of working two jobs. I told her that Mommy had to start working Daddy's job too. Left it at that. Maybe someday she will understand.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I think you need spinning or kickboxing, not yoga, tonight...but hopefully it helps. sorry about your D...heavy load for a 6 year old. good thing she has such a good mommy.
glad you did some stuff for you today, mk. stay strong. have you heard from neph, btw? am thinking of her and wondering if the fires are near her at all.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
There's the MK I know and love!!! She's back!!! Darn that H for making her go all those yucky places!!
I totally know what you mean about not wanting anything to get to your D6. OW's kids go to D5's school (not to mention they were around each other all summer to help feed the A) and I pray this icky mess never hits her precious little ears.
HUGS mk. Sorry about back to back, but you can do it. Plan something fun for you and D6 and leave her a little note somewhere for her to find while you are gone.
Just watched that Emo youtube video. wow. Are you saying that your H is like that? He needs help and not from you. I agree that you need a break. I like the combination of exercizing hard and then laying around and watching a stupid funny movie.
Good luck.
Me-46;W-42 Together 23 yrs Married 16 S11 S8 S6 02/10/03 Her 1st affair 10/01/06 Sep Bomb 01/01/07 Sep Begins 03/09/07 Her 2nd affair
I have to post on my own thread, but let me just say, I am in the same place as you. I am so angry and fed up with all this stuff I not only want to throw in the towel but shove it down my H's throat.
But Morgan gave sound advice. They are sick. They know not what they do. You will rise above this with your beautiful children. I hate that your H is so in your face about everything. I'm so sorry for that. Some day he will wake up, I hope. Hopefully, it will be in time to help repair what his choices have done to your sweet beautiful daughter.
(((HUGS))) MK. Take that break. I'm going to take one too. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Btw, it was a huge gesture to send that pic to your H. Deep down, hidden somewhere, he is still the man you married and the father of those wonderful children.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
