Totally off the wall here, ignore if this is too batty. But what about validating her "madness", her anger, about whatever subject you are talking about?
Does anyone recall a recent bestseller about infant/child rearing, something like "the Happiest Baby on the Block". I remember hearing an interview with the author on public radio one night.
He was all into treating toddlers like "Cavemen", with rudimentary language and communication skills. One thing that always stuck in my mind was how he told parents to VALIDATE the child's temper tantrum. That the child just wants to be heard.
For example, if it is raining and the child want to go out to play. You say "No", because you are an adult, and you see it is raining and not an appropriate time to play in the sandbox. Well, the toddler can't reason that far. So instead of wasting breath, trying to explain, or reason, to the child WHY they can't go outside, you just get angry right along with them. Stomp your feet, whine, pout and yell right along with them, about how YOU are so mad and upset that YOU can't go outside either! Darn RAIN! Mean Mommy! ME want to go outside TOO! ME ! ME! Want to PLAY!!!!!
Supposedly it validates the child's feelings and the temper tantrum stops.
Disclaimer: I have no children, so I have no idea how this works. However, I am starting to learn that if I think and act like the immature 6-year old my husband is, we seem to have a meeting of minds.
What if you express your anger at the subject matter as well? Would that totally blow her right out of the water?
(PS. I know how hard this is, walking on eggshells, being afraid to say the wrong thing . . .)
ME 40 HIM 48 Married one year. First for him Second for me Proud parents of a baby girl
