His affair, My rollercoaster

[mkultra]

Hi North. I am also grappling with the birthday issue. Mine was last week and my H is this week. I kind of do want to overlook it. I will not be with him but the kids will and I am sure he will be with the OW because I believe they actually are living together. But I do not know for sure.

I can either send along a funny benign card or one that shows a little more sentiment regarding his birth. The funny thing is I know the entire story of his birth because my MIL and I joke about every year on his birthday. She almost had him in a cab. Those are the kinds of things only wives and mothers know , not OW. So I thought I could say something like that and write "We Love You Daddy!" So that he actually remembers he has a family. I dunno. It is a risk.

About your sitch. Why does it wreak of Brangelina to me? This OW seems so dysfunctional and so is my H's. They may leave competent women for weak needy women to help their self esteem. I believe most affairs are based on underground and unhealthy vices. It has been reported to me that my H's OW is very poor, dumb, and probably on drugs. My sweet friend also said she is ugly and gross.That is quite the opposite of me. You sound like the stable, independent go to person, so maybe your H is going out with someone quite the opposite. So that means that is his issue. he must also have very low self esteem in the bedroom. Mine too. I am much more experienced and I am also a lot sexier than my H. It is ironic that he would be the one to cheat because he is so insecure about his sexuality.

These are their issues. Not ours. If we continue to DB, GAL and maintain PMA. Then we are better off. I am not 100% sure if DR is for people like us, people who have spouses who are chronically addicted to their affairs. I almost feel like the book is for couples who have a spouse that feels sorry for having an affair. Mine feels entitled to do so.

Isit even conformed that they are having a PA?