impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

maybe it would have worked if you had approached it as, "I'd like to sit down and talk to you. when would be a good time?"

yeah.. that's the nice, reasonable way to handle it.
however, it's difficult to approach in a reasonable fashion, when the response to reasonableness is most often,
"I'm too busy today"
"I'm too stressed"
"bad week for me"
... and so on and so on.
Pre-arranged times to talk, very rarely actually come to pass, it seems like. especially if it's an issue that she doesnt want to discuss.
If she can tell I'm really pissed or angry at something, she might talk to me in a reasonable timeframe. But if it's anything to do with our relationship, whether that be big-M talk, or at a somewhat more casual level... she usually repeatedly evades, until she wears me down enough to not ask again.

if I ask her to do something, "let me check my calendar" (never hear from her again)

If I ask her to talk, then half the time, it's "we can talk on my break tomorrow; i should have lots of time then", but somehow, if we do actually talk, it usually ends up being only 5 minutes.

or, "we can talk tomorrow night"... [more excuses, etc. when the time actually rolls around]


I guess if something works 10% of the time, as opposed to 0% of the time, I should go with the 10% one.
its just really frustrating, when I feel like we have to talk about something soon.

thats what led me to use that tactic this time. and made things horribly worse.


Really, I think that most of our major problems, have come from me trying to "push" talks, or something, due to what I felt to be external time pressure....

I guess I should learn that it always leads to disaster, if I let "the deadline" run my thinking.

tough to have any kind of adult, rational relationship with her that way, though...


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But... I still really need more tips on how to defuse her anger now