Thanks for your thoughts. Everyone seems to agree I'm not ready to date, and I feel the same way. What I'm thinking is some good convo and a bit of an ego boost.
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
versus a DATE, "OMG, he/she is soooo cute. I'm wearing my good panties/non tidy whities just in case I make a bad decision." Know what I mean?
Thanks for the laugh---I really needed it! I promise to wear my rattiest undergarments.
JustMe, I totally agree on the money thing. H wasn't saying that's what he'd pay, just that that's the number he'd got. I have no intention of letting him make me an offer. It was change in the tenor of the talk that threw me off. I've a call in to my acquaintance the family court judge.
I just said goodbye to H's parents, which was horrific to an unexpected degree. They told me they'd spent yesterday with H, that FIL isn't sleeping, MIL said the family's "falling apart at all corners" and she wished they'd stayed home. She also said she's very worried about the possibility of H losing his job.
H and I obviously haven't been talking very much, but losing his job isn't something I was aware I might need to be concerned about. I just feel like he's falling apart. He just got a huge promotion, they love him, but his new "I'll just say what I think and if they don't like it they can f**k themselves" might end up hurting me in a way I hadn't anticipated.
I'd like to think of a way to talk to him about this, but I can't think of one that would do any good. I think it'd all sound like pressure, and it *would* be pressure: You have responsibilities that extend beyond your own ego right now---don't blow it.
Is it possible that he's so passive-aggressive that he subconsciously *wants* to lose his job? Jesus. Can he want out of these responsibilities that badly?
MIL also said our oldest is clearly demonstrating that he's feeling the tension in the house.
I realized something. H was all about "being adult" about all this, didn't want the kids to sense my ambivalence about the S, etc etc, but his behavior toward me has been horrendous in a silent way. Again, something I wish I could point out in a nonemotional way, like, "Hey, do you have the impression the kids have noticed that you haven't spoken to me in weeks? Do you think that might have a negative impact on them?"
Last night I got home at 2.30 am and H was outside on the phone. Apparently he's not being this way with everyone.
Oh ugh. This day took a turn I hadn't expected! Take care.
