I've been keeping busy with life and lurking from time to time. Y'all know the drill: kids, school, work, house. It keeps me running and happy. If you take the whole infidelity quagmire out of my life, I'm living my dreams, and even with the challenges factored back in, I'm fortunate indeed.
So, how are things going with H? I think we're getting there, but it's going to be a long time before I feel truly safe.
A couple weeks ago, I dug up some stuff that indicates fairly recent, affectionate correspondence from H to OW. (I'm not obsessively scrutinizing every move he makes, but I do feel it's important to verify that he's being truthful with me.) We had a serious R conversation about that, and taking H's actions of the past six months into consideration, I feel confident that overall we are headed forward together.
He has so many work and personal projects going on lately. Family time has been sliding down the priority ladder, but he does try to give me some attention when he finally rolls in late at night. He sleeps closer to me now, touches me in his sleep, little things that were missing for so long.
I'm trying to focus on becoming a better me, seeking to have true charity for him and everyone around me, trying to keep from being frustrated that he's not diligently on the same path I am. He is who he is, it is not my responsibility to change him.
I think I need to start doing some more in-depth learning about boundaries--how to choose, make and maintain healthy boundaries. I feel that I have a hard time sticking to my boundaries in the face of my desire to not come across as unpleasant or judgemental.
