Rollar Coasters are no longer fun

[Dom R]

Here is something that I learned.
in years of lies from my wife, and her pursuing multiple EAs.


I snooped on her.
Things got quiet. I got nervous. I dug deeper. I found she had done things 2 weeks ago.
I got very upset. Things got very ugly. She did things more...

Things eventually got quiet. I got nervous.... and so on.

Thing is.. during some of those times, I think that if I just let the "2 weeks ago" stuff go... things may have stayed quiet, and eventually improved between us. (she even claimed something similar to that, at one point)
I couldnt let it go at the time... i was just too wound up and hurt. But if I could talk to myself then, I would try to tell myself to let it go.

I think you are in a similar situation. You are building up worry and resentment from the past.
Those feelings, are getting in the way of a potential better future.

it's a ways off.. your husband is still stuck in his "addiction" to the OW. he almost got free..he's suffering from a relapse right now.
The thing is... if that is the case, do you think being cold to him and shutting him out when he reaches out to you? Or do you think that being, if not warm, then at least open to him, would be best?

as for me, i think the latter is the better way to go in your situation.