My guess is it's not really whatever is she says she's mad about. (Did that make sense?)
Anyway, have you tried asking her what would you should do so she won't be mad? Apparently, my xh wanted me to 'make it up to him'. I had had no idea, all these years, until he finally blurted it out during an argument. (I had tried letting it blow over, talking to him, validating, etc.) So, now, I ask what I can do to help make up for it. Seems to work better.
