impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

Yes, sometimes, the "I'm going to talk right now" strategy works, if I am sure to keep it a very SHORT talk. (and if I dont try it very often). Thanks for the reminder.(although I in no way try to push her into being upset. just the opposite; i just try to keep things calm for both of us)

But that's not the issue in THIS thread for me.

For this thread, I'd like to know how to better diffuse her
"I'm going to hold a grudge and be mad" phase.

Hmm.. ok, after re-reading what you said... i understand now what you are going for. and that has accidentally happened, once or twice.
I just dont think that I could bring myself to do that to my wife deliberately.
I'd ideally like something I could use more frequently, with a clearer concience.