Letting go and going with the flow

[bravagal]

Augh!
I am organizing my stuff... ahhhh... I mean OUR stuff. Deciding what comes with , what goes into storage, what gets donated. I realize that it is harder than I thought. Even though I am not really splitting up our stuff, I am still having to go through it.
I have been finding all sorts of things:
-that he bought me in the past (and I often was not appreciative of)
-that are memories of our life togehter
-or are just his things... like his cologne that I had stuffed way in the back of the linen closet.

augh.

I know I am doingthe right things. I wold go nuts staying here in town any longer "waiting". I feel this break will be the best chance our R has is moving forward.

We had a date on Friday night. I took him out to Chinese for his bday earlier int he month. It was so strange. I realize now as the evening progressed we started to get at each other. I thinkit was the fact that it was an evening date versus lunch where we both have to get back to work.
I did my passive indirect stuff: "dont worry I'll get you home early".
and he reacted to it going into the mode of calling me on it nad me, of course, denying it...... soooooooooooo old.

Afterwards I realized he was right that I was throwing hints to see if he was in a hurry to get home.
I really did not think so then. I just wish I wold not have been so insistant: "no, thats not true".

ah well...

I think he felt my "pulling" on him as well. I just keep doing it. So hard for me to let completely go, yet I know I have to or we will be doing this same dance FOREVER!

OK, there is my quarterly update! ;-)

brava