Still trying to win WAW back (#2)

[DaveJ]

Yeah I had my chance for MC but I screwed up as well and refused due to that John Gottman book saying most MC are whack and messes you up even more. *sigh* I guess I could've gave it a chance.

I'm not sure how much Retro will influence her. I hope maybe at least break down some of her walls and allow us to have even a chance. She hasn't close the door to the future but she's definitely very closed off to anything that has to do with us right now. She's wanting to be friends, but says she isn't ready to work on an in depth friendship.

My suggestion for separation is. Don't ever talk about your R and don't pressure. Give her space. Unfortunately my W is stubborn and has her mind made up for a while and isn't patient enough to see things through. And her IC kinda pushed her a little to end things. Too bad she never followed through with what she said on wanting to see the new me and working through her own problems first. And it's just sad for the kids and me that she's already wanting to go dating.

Don't envy me. I'm not holding my breath for Retro. The hardest thing is trying to be her friend and raise the kids half the time by myself when I still love her with all my heart. I just don't know how to detach. At the moment I feel like crap. Not necessarily mentally. My body is basically shell shocked from her D bomb 2 fridays ago. It is completely overloaded and starting on Zoloft has made me dead tired. I just feel like completely spent. I guess I'm basically just holding on and trying to survive everyday. I really don't want to get my hopes up for Retro because I can't take any more disappointments.... Every time I pick myself up I feel like I get beat down....